Do you have a hidden kink that you have yet to explore? Let’s talk about what a kink actually is, how to separate a kink from a fetish, and a comprehensive list of some of the most common and popular kinks out there.
„Kink is something that one may or may not include in their sexual behavior as a way to enhance pleasure and subjective experience. A fetish is something that primarily defines and is inextricably linked to one’s sexual behavior,“ says Zrenchik.
A fetish is typically concentrated on an object or a body part, i.e., latex, leather, or feet, whereas a kink could be an action, sex act, behavior, or even dynamic between partners. Fetishes are often all-encompassing and the focal point of a person’s erotic life. A person with a foot fetish, for instance, would not just derive extra pleasure from touching, licking, or seeing feet during sex; instead, they may only want to interact sexually with feet to the exclusion of other things. „They may not engage in any penetrative act at all but will still draw sexual gratification from the act [of interacting with feet],“ says Zrenchik.
Outside of sex, the word „fetish“ is also used to describe a type of object that’s conferred magical powers, and that’s how you can think of it in reference to sex. Some people have objects or body parts that are sexually enticing to them and hold power over them in a way that is out of „the ordinary.“
BDSM is an umbrella term for bondage, discipline/domination, submission/sadism, and masochism. These kinks all hinge on power play—that is, the erotic and voluntary exchange of power. BDSM is all about one party exerting dominance over the other in a mutually consensual, pre-agreed-upon and satisfying encounter. This kink is for you if you fantasize about letting your partner have their way with you, or if you derive pleasure from the idea of „making“ your partner service and please you.67
2. Sadism and masochism
Sadism and masochism come under the BDSM umbrella. These kinks are all about your relationship to pain. A sadist derives pleasure from inflicting pain on a sexual partner, and a masochist derives pleasure from receiving it. What do you fantasize about when you masturbate? If your fantasies tend to involve the exchange of pain, perhaps you might want to let your inner sadist or masochist out with an equally game partner?
3. Ropes and bondage
Having a bondage or ropes kink is one of the most well-known kinks out there. This one’s for you if you enjoy the idea of restricting your partner or being restricted. Maybe it makes you feel safe and taken care of? Or desired and subjugated? Or powerful and in control? Exploring this kink necessitates a safe word so that you can easily end the scene if it becomes too much. Have scissors on hand as well so that ropes can be simply and quickly removed.
This kink is marked by an interest in wearing pantyhose or having a partner wear hosiery while engaging in sexual activity. If you find that you often ask your partner to wear hosiery, or you yourself feel a strong urge to wear them during sex and experience more pleasure when wearing or seeing hosiery, you may have a pantyhose fetish or kink. Explore by buying hosiery, especially kinds made for having sex (i.e., crotchless), advises Zrenchik.
A voyeurism kink centers on being turned on by watching other people having sex. You might figure out that this is your kink by being particularly turned on by seeing yourself have sex in a mirror. In order to explore this kink more, make sure that you engage in a consensual situation such as at a sex club or sex party.
This kink is defined by taking on different personas during sex and experiencing intensified pleasure from stepping outside of yourself. For instance, maybe you and your partner play a librarian and a student, or a delivery worker and a housewife. Are you usually shy but really let go and come harder when you don’t have to be yourself? Maybe roleplay is your kink.
A humiliation kink is about being put in your place by a partner. Someone with a humiliation kink might, for example, get off on being told that their penis is too small or that they’re pathetic or a slut. Humiliation kinks can also be enacted through different kinds of power play such as bootlicking or facials. It’s all about the meaning that the people ascribe to certain acts. Often this kink is theorized to be found in people who live in „high-respect, high-power“ positions by day and who want to explore the opposite position, says Zrenchik.
14. Financial domination
Financial domination, aka FinDom, is often a fetish but can also be a kink. It involves giving over total control of one’s finances to someone else or being kept on a strict budget or being ordered to purchase certain things. This kink is for you if the idea of giving over so much control in such an important part of life turns you on. You can explore it by beginning with a trusted partner and introducing a financial element into your sex life. For instance, one could say that 10% of your monthly income must be spent on sexy presents for your partner and go from there.
A degradation kink can be considered the opposite of a praise kink. A person with this kink is turned on by being denigrated and degraded by their partner either through words or through actions (i.e., being spit on). This kink might do something for you if you lean toward being submissive and like your partner to take control and tell you what to do in a sexual situation.
Known in everyday speech as a „furry kink,“ autoplushophilia „involves dressing up in animal costumes and engaging in sexual play,“ explains Lawrenz. A furry is someone who is turned on by imagining themselves and others as anthropomorphic animals. „As a sexual practice, this is often a very fun way to connect with your partner. If you like to dress up or have a huge stuffed animal collection—this kink may be for you,“ says Lawrenz.